Queer Healing, Rainbow-Style

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This is the time of year I search for rainbows. Like reminders that follow the rain, they are signs of healing. Many of us leave our countries of origin, our cities and towns of origin, sometimes our families of origin, searching for a newer, better place. Sometimes, leaving home was a difficult –but necessary– change we needed to do; to stretch into the light; to find better nourishment to grow; to go toward the sun –and sometimes even the rain– to find those needs; those special, personal parts within. I used to hear one person call it, “to be with my own kind”, or “to be with others who meet me in the deepest places”. Call it what you may: Reword it; correct it; rename it in more socially acceptable ways; but when we have felt like outsiders, we have lived the true meaning of similar expressions. We flock to where we think our lives will be better, to fit in, to find our peace…and sometimes it is painful.

Michael_Best_Rainbow_Photo_ by_Heather_Morton_DM

Sometimes, the clouds are so dark, the winds too brisk, the climate changes erratic. We wonder if this is where we are truly supposed to stay. Do we have the right resources? Enough resources? Do we leave again? Do we try a new spot? Do we look for shelter, or dance in the rain? Do we find our own rhythm, or mimic what we think we see others doing? Do we openly embrace the storm, knowing full well the rainbow follows the rain…or did we temporarily forget that in the midst of the chaos? Are we concerned we are looking around, and still do not find the other kindred for whom we were searching…and oh, we took chances…and oh, we searched so hard…

My philosophy is to search for your rainbows and make your own rainbows. Everyday. Do it. Start right now. Make it happen just for you right now. I am making it happen for me right now. I am many things: I am a writer, an artist, a talker, an eater, a charmer…I talk nice to myself. I am my own best friend. I work hard, I play hard, and I rest hard. I also work smart, I play smart, and I rest smart. I advocate for strong health, for wellness, and for healing. This is the time of the year my birthday falls on the cusp of two Zodiac Signs. I am proud of being both Signs; not one; not the other; no confusion. I am both. I am all colours of the rainbow. I am gentle and I am tough. I am at peace and quick to fire up. I am gregarious and fiercely independent. I love deep; I love passionately; I love tough, with great acceptance and tough-love; always with the purpose of peace; with the goal of healing…the same healing akin to the symbol of a rainbow. I have friends who have been sharing with me that they do not know where they fit.

We have all come through Toronto’s World Pride, the Dyke March, the Trans March, the frivolity and the political stands; having met many people over many events, and not always knowing if we truly met ‘others just like us’. We came out together as proud LGBTTIQQ2SA people. I lean heaviest on parts of the acronym that include the supporters, the allies, and the non-labelled diverse persons…because I am diverse…because I can not pigeon-hole or cookie-cut my diversity. It just is. And that is what I tell one friend when I hear him say he looked around, and still wondered if anyone in the crowd was ‘just like him’. I tell him, “you be you…for you. For your own sake. For your own strength, despite how you think you fit with others. Maybe you are the one forerunning for another. So, just be yourself.”

I say this because when I first started working with military colleagues, I met Donna. She had a splash of “Oh-My-God Red” dye in her hair, and, to use my Mother’s favourite expression, she was “Right Full of Hell-ry”. She was quick to show me she was an ally. We became friends. She inspired me because she gave me the best advice on Day 1: “Just be yourself”. Her words helped initiate deep healing in me. I have never forgotten her advice, and daily, I pay it forward. I say it too because I am an avid Cher fan. I saw the performer interviewed where she said she had started her signing career when ‘no one else looked like her, or sounded like her’.

I encourage the people in my life to be as individual as they want. Show on the outside what you feel is inside, and may it be good enough. Find and accept your voice. As indeed ‘change is inevitable’, we all adapt and move forward for here anyway. So be the ‘you’ who you are right now…and accept the ‘you’ that you will become from here. Live fully, and live your life ‘on purpose’ and ‘with purpose’. May we all search for rainbows and make our own rainbows. I never tire of rainbows.                                                                      (by Michael Best to DOSmagazine/Online)